


A Mandalorian's Guide to Dealing with Microaggressions

by MissTeaVee



Series: A Distinct Lack of Mandalorian Mystique [3]
Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Aggravating encounters with non believers, Gen, Inappropriate Humor, Two Mandalorians and a Shock trooper walk into a bar and run into assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22063270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissTeaVee/pseuds/MissTeaVee
Summary: I introduce to you: A tried and true Mandalorian technique to diffuse the endless rude questions about whether or not they take their helmets off during [situation]It gets tiring when you're asked the same thing, day in, day out.
Series: A Distinct Lack of Mandalorian Mystique [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602253
Comments: 48
Kudos: 833





	A Mandalorian's Guide to Dealing with Microaggressions

“Hey Mandos!”

Din looked up from where he was nursing (Read: not actually drinking) a tall glass of spotchka to look at the guy standing beside their table, wobbling back and forth with a no-doubt-generous helping of Liquid Courage.

Cara, across the table and halfway through her second cup, wondered if this nerf herder was actually that drunk and stupid to try and pick a barfight with two Mandalorians and a Rebel Shock trooper. The big guy, for his part just lifted his glass up to his helmet and audibly took a sip.

(She was still trying to figure out how the fuck the Mandos could do that. How much ROOM was in those buckets!? Paz wasn’t even using a straw.)

The drunk leaned on the table, grinning. “Got a question t’ask ya, my mates n’I were wondering.”

Din returned to staring at his drink, and Paz shifted back to facing Cara. “What were you saying about that barrel upgrade to the Serriceworks 10?”

She snickered, about to expound on how the supposed improvements to a certain heavy weapon had actually reduced the function of the design overall, but their drunken friend was not to be dissuaded so easily. Of all the people in this packed bar he could bother, he’d chosen them.

“So like, if ya’ll can’t take the helmets off, d’ya have sex in em!?” The guy laughed raucously, people in the nearer tables scootching a bit further away. Cara heard Din’s audible sigh and huffed to herself in slight amusement. Granted, she’d wondered that a couple times (Especially when watching Din watch Omera) but what a thing to ask.

To her surprise, Din actually answered the guy though. “Yes. But only the helmet stays on,” he said, tone perfectly neutral. Cara choked on her drink. The drunkard stared at him, mouth hanging open.

While Cara was recovering, Paz spoke up in a bored rumble. “He’s lying, obviously. We can be naked if we want.”

“Oh good,” said the drunk, but Paz wasn’t done.

“Though it has to be through a sheet with a hole in the middle in that case.”

Thank fuck she hadn’t tried for another swallow. She wheezed to herself, catching Din glancing at the poor drunkard to see if he was buying it. Sure enough, the poor sod was, in fact impared enough to believe it, if the look of understanding was any indication. Oh she had to join this game.

“Ack-shually,” she drawled, leaning in and playing with her hair, pretending she was speaking from experience. Din’s helmet whipped around to look at her, but Paz just sipped at his drink again. The drunk looked at her, clearly deciding that whatever she had to say would clearly be correct; after all, she was clearly the kind of gal Mandalorians liked if she was hanging with them. “It’s a very solemn ceremony with blindfolds. The whole clan has to attend.”

She heard them both crack; Din’s head dropped to try and hide the sharp hiss of laughter, and Paz audibly inhaled half his drink and had to bend over so he wouldn’t choke it all up over the inside of his visor. The drunkard believed it for a long moment, she could tell, and then whatever he had that was closest to logic made an appearance just long enough for him to give Cara the evil eye. “I’m just asking a question, lady, no need to be a cunt about it!”

“Aight,” said Paz, standing to his full height and looming over the drunk. His boots audibly thumped as he stepped closer to the idiot, who was suddenly aware of how small he was compared to that wall of Beskar. “Are you trying to get under someone here's armor?”

‘Uh… n-no sir.”

“Then fuck off.”

The guy stumbled over himself to get away, and Paz sank back into his chair with an irritated sigh. Din’s hand was up under the rim of his helmet, muffling snickers by the sound of things. Cara toasted him with her glass, and then took a long draught. That of course was when Din spoke to her.

“How did you know how we make love?”

She paused and deliberately swallowed before turning to raise an eyebrow at the Mandalorian. “Do you  _ really _ think I’m drunk enough to fall for that?”

He chuckled. “Worth a shot.”

**Author's Note:**

> Will I add more parts to this? Maybe.
> 
> Now a Podfic! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22376137

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] A Mandalorian's Guide to Dealing with Microaggressions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22376137) by [Primarybufferpanel (ArwenLune)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLune/pseuds/Primarybufferpanel)




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